My journey has has never been the easiest ! I was never really felt like I “fit in” if you know me now I am not up on the latest trends ( literally I’m in leggings and hoodies all day),and I don’t care how my hair looks. For conversation starters I know nothing about politics, I’m scared to watch the news (it gives me bad dreams) I don’t know the titles to any songs, artist, actors or movies unless it’s on the Hallmark channel. With all of this it’s always be hard to shoot the breeze with people. Don’t get me wrong if a friend has a hard time or needs a point of view I am your go to person but to sit back and chill I am always the 3rd wheel feeling left out and lost. But I would never show my confusion I would put on a fake smile or laugh and pray no one asked me a question.To this day I still do this and I don’t know why…. I bring this up because when I’m in these situations I’m uncomfortable in my own skin. With my kids I don’t want them to ever put themselves in situations they can not be themself. But in reality people are mean and they make fun of you if you
Don’t know things or act a certain way. I can’t tell you how much I am laughed at or looked at side ways when I may say I don’t know things. I have now gotten to an age that I can shake it off. But as a Mama how do you teach that to your children?? As a Mama I am trying to figure all this out. I say always encourage them to speak there mind, have them embrace being different and instill in them things that is worth knowing as well as providing them with comebacks on what to say to rude and disrespectful people.
Confidence is one thing I lacked as a child and I feel like I still growing in this area to this day !! In the past I was mistreated by friends, boyfriends, teachers, bosses and coworkers. As a Mama confidence is something I HAVE to install in my children. This is so important beacause I think with confidence come self worth! And Mama you are WORTH MORE THEN GOLD! You are a Daughter of the KING!! Fitting is does not mean anything it’s about being true to who you are, regardless of what others think or feel about you or the type of Mama you are!!! Remember Mama even if your still dealing with your personal issues it is important to ask God to provide your children with everything that you are lacking and more! You can still push through and ask for Gods Grace!!!
My goodness I share your path and it amazes me that so many of us are rowing in the same boat! We are all really good at appearing comfortable because I feel like I’m the only one feeling like an extra limb at times lol.
Thank you for sharing!! Your gems coupled with a women’s Bible study group have simultaneously given me confirmation, fully opening my eyes to the fact that we are all way more similar than we appear at first glance and not just our interests, like you often hear about when someone says we are all way more alike than not. I’m talking our emotions and fears and experiences and the effects they’ve had on us and our confidence and how we’ve gotten good at appearing to fit in or understand some things , in order to keep from seeming awkward.
As kids/teens when we admit these feelings or even just appear aloof, some of the meanies jump all over it—I remember it well! So then we develop defense mechanisms to cope and not be detected. I still struggle with it and even though as an adult I’m more comfortable with positive or negative reactions, I still don’t like the latter (who does lol). Wear the mask today, don’t wear the mask?
When you say you don’t know something, people are shocked or amused or both and it’s like dang, can’t I be uninformed about something?—all-smiles-mask goes on around that person until I see a pattern of positivity that would warrant me even thinking about removing it around them. My circle is tight for a reason; always looking to expand but for quality and growth, not just in #’s! I’d love more on this topic, Jen!! Maybe in Mama needs a break!
I totally agree with You. Have lived this. There is no guide book on raising children. One will have to go on instinct, common sense and the Grace of God. I enjoy reading your Blog keep doing what you are doing.
Sunshine, I’m wondering if a lot of what you feel was rubbed off from me because I feel the exact same way. I’ve learned to live with it by remembering that we are uniquely and wonderfully made . Church people are the worst. So, Not that my way is the right way for everyone, but it works for me and that is, I have a small circle of friends. When I feel that way with people I distance myself and that is it for them.
I feel your pain!
Love you to bits,
YOUR Mama
What a good read. I can honestly say I felt like this especially around family. Always felt as the Black Sheep. I totally agree with trying to find a way to secure that confidence within our own children.
I can totally relate!